Almond creme cake from wholefoods is like sex

I'm going to admit, probably more than 50 percent of the stuff I post on here is about food. I don't know how I'm not 500 pounds, but I guarantee you that I am a fat person inside. I went to Whole Foods to get some quick groceries and ended up buying a God Damn almond cream cake. AN ENTIRE CAKE. It was only 10 bucks, so I didn't feel too guilty about it. I took it home like a stolen baby and I quickly put it in the fridge. After a couple of hours I whipped it out and went to claim my prize. No plates or anything, just me, a spoon, and the cake which was still in the box. I was too excited to take it out. I ate half of it and let me tell you, that is NOT the last time I buy that for myself. It was so smooth, and heavenly, and it had some really good amaretto flavoring and like a million almonds on it. Tonight it's going to be round 2 and I can't wait.

Models pose with boy toys in new Vogue

The new May issue of Vogue has a section devoted to showing off today's top models with their love interests. It's kinda cute to be honest, specially since American Vogue almost always disappoints me. AND of course I had to post this because one of the girls talked about is Arlenis!

:-)

State of Play is whats up.

I just have to start off by saying that they should sell wine at the movie theater. It just seems like a good idea, who do we need to talk to about this? Well, since it's not legal to do that (yet), my friends and I decided to do it anyway on the low low.
By the time the previews started I was as giddy as a 7 year old Japanese girl that is playing with her hello kitty doll. State of Play was an awesome movie for various reasons. Russell Crow got fat and that is my number one. The second is that I love Rachel McAdams. The third is that Helen Mirren is as tough as Rambo. Incredible. Makes you wanna do something with your life. the last reason is because the story was suspenseful as S***! I was paranoid after this thinking the government was gonna com get me in my sleep and that's when you know you saw a good movie; when your crazy ass starts thinking it's real. Or maybe was that the wine? hmmmm

LUCKY TO BE ALIVE PART 2!

Around this time last year I posted how my friend Craig and I witnessed a car accident right in front of us and how I literally felt my life was in danger. The post was called Lucky to be Alive and it's from May 11th, 2008. Well I think luck has struck yet again because last night, after hanging out with Craig at Nowhere bar, I was on my way home and saw someone get stabbed right in front of me on 72nd Street station.

To be honest with you guys it was all in slow motion. I was just on the platform waiting for the train and all of a sudden there's this chase. Who knows what had happened? Someone tried to steal someones wallet? A bad drug deal? I have no clue, but the chase led right up to me and then the two men started fighting. Like for real fighting with eyes bleeding and blood all over the place. Then the one shady looking guy pulled out a knife and just stabbed the other guy. RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE WITH LIKE 100 WITNESSES and kept running. Literally 5 feet from me people, my mouth was open. The guy who got stabbed had his girlfriend contact the train operator so they could get him an ambulance. I took a cab home and just hopped into bed. I didn't even take off my clothes.

Zoe Saldana is woking it

Look at my Dominican babe over here stepping it up and becoming a total tigress on the red carpet! Zoe Saldana is in Berlin promoting the new Star Trek movie and I'm salivating as we speak. She better have more than 3 lines in this movie because I will go Ape S*** if she is left out in the cold. WERK the shoes and that red Prada dress!

The Standard Hotel is here and it's cute

I'm gonna officially declare that I want my birthday party at the Standard Hotel. I don't think many people have realized that this hotel right on the highline is now open. I went to check it out and my neck was hurting from checking out all the hot guys that work there. They are all tall, hot, and as far as I know GAY. Also very cute is the bar on the 3rd floor that has a huge outdoor deck. You literally feel like you are on the pier, just higher up. Let's see what I can come up with, but I want my party here and I wanna DJ it.

Eduard Erlikh makes you purr

Get your Safari outfits out everyone. We are doing it up jungle style.

Eduard Erlikh just posted some new images on his facebook and as soon as I saw this I thought of Bebe from Ru Pauls drag race. "Camarooooooon!"

This makes me wanna wear tiger print under ware and purrr.

For more of his work go to http://www.erlikh.com/

Plastic surgery running wild...

Why are people running around with no type of facial verification? Some scary ass shit is going on and I have the pictures to prove it. First of all, WTF on Rupert Everett and his facelift/facetuck/botox/collagen implants/facial mess! He looks like he's allergic to something. What about Kim Basinger? She's looking TIGHT!

More Mangiami please!

How about you go and get a plate of Penne a la Vodka with a nice glass of Montepulciano wine? How does that sound? Or some Spaghetti a la carbonara? Even the bread was good at this cute little spot right behind the new museum on Bowery. I was having a really rough day, but then the owner of the restaurant was really nice and we spoke Italian for a little bit. He also gave me a cigarette. it was very much appreciated. I'm going to go back anytime I feel like devouring some good pasta.

Mangiami

9 Stanton Street(between Bowery & Chrystie St)

(212) 477-7047

Zac is looking tasty

I don't think I will ever want to see any movie Zac is in. Right now he's just not doing it for me in that sense, but damn does he look tasty. I'm only officially posting this because hes wearing Ralph Lauren and look at those A.P.C jeans! They are the ones I own and brag about so much. Zac just looks, well, delicious. lol. I can't get over it. But no movies please, just pictures.

Paris à tout Prix (Paris or Nothing)

Have you ever felt so desperate to leave a place because you truly believed that the grass was greener on the other side? The story of Josephine Ndagno is that of a girl who is doing anything and everything to leave her homeland of Cameroon for a brighter more rewarding future, but her adventure should be taken as a cautionary tale; NOT EVERYTHING IS AS IT SEEMS.

The director does an amazing job and brings her experiences on screen (she also plays herself in the movie). This movie is not only realistic, but also endearing. Following Josephine around is actually a study of immigration into the western world and the pros and cons that go along with it.

knowledge is power.

Say it with your eyes...

Tyra always says "smile with your eyes", but really you should be able to have a little more range than that. DO EVERYTHING WITH YOUR EYES!!!

A.P.C jeans make it seem like you have a butt.

A.P.C has one sexy pair of Jeans. I'm actually rocking mine as I write thins and I am noticing how these jeans really make it look like I have a nice ass. To be honest, I'm not that blessed back there, but the jeans do an awesome job. All that Raw denim and nice worn in look make me feel like a god damn supermodel (and you can tell this is true by how I walk on the street, posing while I wait for the light to change so I can cross the street). Yes, The jeans are $155 a pop, but really worth it. Trust me, I got so obsessed after my pair got a hole in the crotch that I almost went and bought a brand new pair. Thank God the nice lady at the dry cleaners patched it up for me and now they are ready to be shown off in the Summer. Put your seat belts on!

131 Mercer St # A

New York, NY 10012

(212) 966-9685

Clash of the Titans is coming!

Do you remember staying home when you were little on a Saturday night and watching Clash of The Titans on TV? I freaking LOVE that movie and always thought it would be so much cooler if they remade it and added really good special effects. THE TIME HAS COME! Word on the street is that Liam Neeson will play Zeus, King of the Gods. Hades might be played by none other than my favorite bad guy Ralph Fiennes (remember him in Red Dragon? CREEPY!). Let's see who they cast as the rest of the Gods, but I am officially nominating Gisele as Aphrodite in a role where she can just stand there and look hot, NO TALKING. lol.

Lindsay Lohan could be one of the Nymphs. OK, seriously, I think They should bring back Maggie Smith from the original cast and give her some type of role. Stay tuned cause I'm on this.

I heart Cafe Habana

Last night I finally got to go back to one of my favorite places to eat on the planet.

CAFE HABANA!

I was so excited that I started yelling when our bartender (who is also part waiter, cash register, clean up guy, and the restaurants MVP!) started making me and Cristina some strawberry margaritas. We were deliciously drunk and ready for more so we had more margaritas. and then another one. We got some banging tostones (fried green plantains) which we inhaled. I went with my favorite, the steak with rice and beans and Cristina had her favorite, the pulled pork.

I can't get sick of this place because the food is so damn good. I could literally eat here every night and love it. Shout out to my girl Monica for being the hottest chick with her cute T-shirt last night!

17 Prince Street

New York, NY 10012

(212) 625-2001

Pop up Vitamin Water Store. Huh?

I was walking on Broadway, just a little north of Houston when I noticed a Vitamin Water Store. My first reaction was WTF!, because why would you have a store that just sells vitamin water. After a little research I found that this is actually a pop up store made to promote the brands new calorie friendly products coming out soon. So, basically a pop up store is a way to advertise, stays open for a limited time, and then that's it. They close that up and move on.

I have a feeling that pop up stores are going to be popping up a lot more often.

Topshop made my look.

OK
I was feeling my outfit so much today that I had to blog about it. I went to topshop and bought this cute t-shirt with denim jeans and a blue hat. In love with myself today and now you can be too. seeeeeeee! Ha ha

xoxo
Ru

Love*Sex*Magic

Ciara has been around for a bit now doing her thing, but I felt somehow she hasn't really been stepping it up. Her first album was a huge hit, then her second effort was a little bland. Now she is just giving you all types of posing and sex in this new video with Justin Timberlake called "Love Sex Magic". To be honest, when I first watched it my mouth was a little open. Not only was Ciara finally what I always wanted her to be, but she had Justin in the video sticking his tongue out and licking stuff. LICKING HER!
Watch the video and then tell me if it doesn't make you wanna take a stripper pole class so you can do some tricks. Just go watch it and let me know. I dare you.

Cristina hooks it up with a new trinity

(Corner of La Esquina on top and fabulous Eileen's cheesecakes below)

Last night I was shown the light by my friend Cristina. Just when you think you know a person they come out with some S*** and tell you the food secrets you have been waiting for. After a lovely time in Topshop (Shout-out to the prettiest girl at the register Monique for being down for a few laughs) and buying some things we went to La Esquina. I know people don't usually like tripe, or gizzards, or cow tongue, but you need to get over this so you can go try this tongue taco. AMAZING! When I put it in my mouth I though, "damn, I wish this was a burrito so I could eat more of it". Then we crossed the street and picked up some homemade chips and dip from Mexican Radio. We also picked up 3 little cream cheesecakes from Eileen's Special Cheesecake store. To say that we went home and massacred the chips would be an understatement. WE ANNIHILATED THE CHIPS. OMG, they were so good and crispy and fresh and I wanna marry them. Then we whipped out the cheesecakes and brought it to a whole new level. You just wanted to put your face in it. really. if this sounds like a very sexual posting it's because we really make love to that food. ALL OVA! I am so obsessed that i might go to the same 3 places and get the same stuff tonight before I go dance it up and be cute.

La Esquina
106 Kenmare St
New York, NY 10012
(646) 613-1333

Mexican Radio
19 Cleveland Pl
New York, NY 10012
(212) 343-0140

Eileen's Cream Cheesecake
17 Cleveland Place
(between Kenmare St & Lafayette St)
(212) 966-5585

Stay away from Los Dados restaurant

It takes a lot to piss me off at a restaurant, but somehow Los Dados and their bad service did the trick. I went last night to get a snack before meeting up for drinks with some friends and it was a nightmare. First, it takes about 20 minutes to make me a simple lamb burrito. Then the waiter comes and brings me some crap that I did no order, so I had to wait almost 10 more minutes for them to get it right. Meanwhile I am waiting, falling asleep, and hungry. No one offered me free chips, or a free drink, or anything. I was just there...waiting...like a hungry child.

When the burrito finally came, it wasn't even that good. The cheese was not melted and the lamb did not have much flavor. As I was walking out of that hell hole I noticed the people sitting at the table across from me were also complaining about how inattentively the waitstaff was and how they wish they would have gone to Pastis instead.

Please stay away from this place if you stumble upon it when you're out in the Meatpacking district. I warn you now, so that you don't end up there and have to curse somebody out.

Instead go to Sea or the ever so lovely Barbuto.

Whole Foods is finally going uptown!

GET EXCITED!

Whole Foods will be opening a new store on 97th street and Columbus Avenue this August. I might not have to move from Washington Heights after all. A representative of the supermarket chain has confirmed that the August open is pretty firm. You know I'm going to be up in there everyday buying random stuff. The supermarket I go to on 191st is a DUMP! One day I went into that place and they did not even have mushrooms. I mean, that is a pretty basic vegetable. The meat there is also not the best quality. I rather pay more and know that I'm putting something decent in my gut.

I die for Topshop

I am pissed that I have to be at work now instead of standing outside of Topshop waiting for it to open at 11AM. I am sure there are all types of crazy MOFOS out there dying to get in and buy everything. The store is getting so raped today it's not even funny. People have been waiting for this for months. I am one of them. I bought some white shoes in London from Topshop's Topman line and ever since I have been wanting a reunion so I can buy more crap that does not fit in my apartment. I'll go this weekend and hopefully they will have something left. Even if it's just socks cause I need socks. lol